The Waffle House Virgin

As of this morning I was yet to be initiated into the southern religious waffle sect (though non-denominational) and baptized in the Lard God of breakfast: The Waffle House.

Repeat after me: "In the name of the Waffle, the ham, and the holy grits, I accept the Waffle House as the one true home of gratuitous caloric breakfast bliss, amen."

And so it was written, behold, this is the Waffle, and this is the butter, and this is the sacred syrup which sanctifies our tummy.

And so it shall be smothered, and covered, and chunked unto excess, for ever and ever, amen.