A song came on the radio as I was driving into Canyonlands: Trouble, by Coldplay. Whenever I hear that song I think of Tracy. It was my ringtone for her, though she was anything but. It was a private joke, and when she heard it, she'd laugh and laugh, and what a laugh it was. There was mid-western girl in it, there was big hearted love and joy in it. How I miss it, everytime I hear that song.
She never made it to Canyonlands while she was alive, but she did today. Given her love for shade, I've taken to finding small trees where I think she'd be happy. I found two such trees today, and I think she'd approve.
Before she died I was too busy with the logistics and pushing the inevitable out of my mind to truly prepare for it. What a mistake it was. There were words unsaid, and things undone, and now in these moments they flood back to me.
What I'd give to hear that merry laugh again.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
My heart in my throat as I read this Bob......yes, what a laugh it was! I love being able to see all the places you have put Tracy, all the shade and the trees that she so loved. She is with you in any way you believe that she now exists. I agree about the words unsaid, but like I told the kids when I comforted them....the only thing that was left, that mattered, the only words you say at the end is that I love you. She knew she was so very loved and those are all the words needed. She died very, very loved.